Let’s talk a little bit about why “surprise and delight” became a thing. I first heard the term about five years ago when a colleague at the time was describing an unusually warm welcome she received at a boutique hotel in New York. Upon entering her guest room, she was greeted with a personal note, a complimentary bottle of wine, and some suggested sights to see during her visit. Maybe a couple of other things as well. Sure – nothing over the top, but you can bet that she told this story to all of her coworkers and friends. It was a minor detail that had a significant effect – making the hotel memorable and started her weekend in NYC on the right foot. And she still talks about it today.

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Nowadays, we hear about the surprise and delight thing all the time, as brands begin to clue into the long-term dividends that a relatively low-cost gesture can result in.

But isn’t this just bribery? Aren’t we just talking about thinly-veiled bait to give customers the warm and fuzzies? I think you could make a pretty compelling argument supporting that idea, but let’s instead consider why these little gestures have such a significant impact with regards to loyalty and brand affinity. What exactly is it about this technique that works so well?

Simply put, the most successful S & D tactics can be attributed to the fact that they mirror behaviours we typically associated with human beings – not a brand:

They usually involve some hint of personalization – a nod to the customer’s personality, their hometown, or past interactions with the brand. They ooze authenticity – no form letters or photocopied coupons. A real person contributed to this.

They provide some utility or assistance – building on the personalization and authenticity, there’s some empathy built in here as well, putting themselves in the customer’s position and providing something useful. They’re unique and memorable – a bit of attitude or creativity can go a long way (when combined with all of the above) to turn a great experience into a mind-blowing one.

And perhaps above all, they leave us feeling valued – we walk away from the experience feeling good. Feeling special.

It seems to me that providing similarly memorable “surprise and delight” moments in the digital space needn’t be more complicated than going back to the principle of emulating human relationships.

Don’t get me wrong – artificial, forced sincerity is the last thing I’m advocating here. Instead, if we simply use the qualities of what makes a relationship feel authentic, it gives us the right bearing with which to shape our customer experience tactics.

In short, don’t try to be something you’re not. You’ll have to work a lot harder to pretend, and chances are, no one’s going to buy it. Instead, reimagine how you can instill your brand’s voice and its customer touch points with more characteristics that feel human.

(This post was originally published in Nov. 2013)